Pro-Life - São Paulo

These dudes would have had to RUN here in São Paulo

So this morning I was walking along on my way home from volunteering at the kids' school, thinking about today's post. I had one more day of Ilha Bela in me, but now I'm afraid something happened that has pushed me to rant. So anyone who is not in the mood for rant, or is Brazilian and defensive, or is the driver of a black Mitsubishi SUV, might want to skip the next part. Or the latter can follow along so you will know that I am hunting you. 

Many times before in the blog I have talked about how Brazilians, in general the nicest people in the world, turn into complete jerks behind a steering wheel. Not all of them, but many of them. I am continually shocked at how rude they are, and completely selfish and plain old DANGEROUS. Yes, I am talking about São Paulo drivers, the paulistanos, who are always in a hurry, always crabby about traffic and always predictably nightmares.

Some of the worst driving is around schools. Most parents drop their kids at their private schools in the morning. While there is bussing available, it costs upwards of US$300/month per child and if you've seen some of these vans scream around corners on two wheels, you might think twice about sending your kids. At the kids' private school, the worst time is the drop-off when parents are late, crabby from having a traffic mess on the way there, and they drive worse than 15-year-olds (in fact, I would like to apologize for that remark to pre-teens everywhere). 

I have nearly been run down in the pedestrian walkway by parents zooming in to drop their kids off by starting bell. And not just endangering me but also my two kids--do I need to explain to anyone how much the gringa is like a momma bear?  Parents are some of the worst violators of pedestrian and safety driving laws. I tend to mention this to them if I catch up with them at the front door of the school. I mention that pedestrian walkways are where pedestrians have right of way BY LAW.  And by simple courtesy, but I can't expect too much from folks.

The line that separates life from death

A few days ago I had a conversation with some other ex-patriates and Brazilians about motoboys. These are the black-clad motorcycle delivery guys that I have also mentioned in other blogs. There are many many MANY of them in São Paulo, many of them are nuts weaving in and out of lanes of cars, some are criminals who watch for cars they want to break into. But the fact is that they are soft flesh on the street. I never try to cut one off, I never attempt to knock one down, and I have been known to wave them ahead or make extra space for them. While one Brazilian friend says she will actually try to chase them if they cut her off (LOUCA!), I just let it go. Four motoboys are killed every day on São Paulo streets. Not by me. I respect life.

So that is exactly why I am so angry this morning. As I crossed a street in a crosswalk with right of way, with no cars coming, I heard a loud beeping as I was halfway across. I looked behind me and flying down the road was a black Mitsubishi who wanted to turn right into the pedestrian walkway. I know this not because the car had signaled the right turn (the driver did not) but because it was making a beeline for me, stuck right in the middle of the pedestrian walkway. I stopped because I hate being crushed by 2 tons of metal. And the car turned right at 30 miles per hour, practically on top of my toes. Stopping for me would have cost them, what? 10 seconds more?

Now what happened next does not make me proud. I nearly smacked the car with my hand as it brushed by me, but instead, since I knew that driver would be looking in the rear-view mirror, I yelled "FAIXA DE PEDESTRE, ***HOLE" Yes, the latter word in English. The first words in Portuguese mean Pedestrian Crossing, of course. And I might have made a gesture with my arm. Or both arms. I am only not proud of this because I could only come up with an insult in English at the moment of truth. I plan to practice swear words learned at Palmeiras games in front of the mirror later today so I will not be caught again without an appropriate descriptor.

What's the deal, São Paulo? We are all soft flesh inside our cars, on tops of our motorcycles, crossing the street. Guess what? Your parents, your kids and your friends are soft flesh too. Be pro-life. Be nice. Be like my hometown in Connecticut where we would sit at four-way stops for an hour waving each other on. We tried to out-nice each other. 

Here, the competition is not fierce. So far, I win. Even with the swear word.

Teaching respect...how's it going?

Cabbage Kombi - São Paulo

Here is the view out my driver's side window as I am on my way to pick up the kids at school. We were stopped at a traffic light and now this cabbage Kombi is passing me and is shortly going to cut me off. Someone was in a hurry to get the legumes home. In the side view mirror, you can see a motoboy about to zip on through--he narrowly missed become a flapjack against the Kombi.

Just another day in São Paulo traffic.

Security in São Paulo Part III - Car Safety

City streets (not my car--I do not own a gps!)

This post is a continuation of a series on safety in São Paulo, in conjunction with Born Again Brazilian.

Probably one of the most nerve-racking times you will have as a visitor or resident of São Paulo is when you get into a car. Really, anyone’s car. Brazilians are aggressive drivers, and not necessarily prone to advising you of lane changes or allowing you to move into their lane. Just getting through a round-about without breaking into a cold sweat will probably take you months of training. 

We won’t get into driver safety except as peripheral to car safety (in the avoiding problems sense). What we write here is our opinion from our experience, as well as advice we have gotten from the military police and executive-level personal drivers. Please use your own common sense in individual situations.

First off, let’s talk about motoboys. Motoboys or motoqueiros are the motorcycle delivery guys. They are a menace (yes, there are some good guys—just don’t think you’ll be able to tell which is which. For one of my prior blogs on motoboys, see here). They will pass in between lanes and give you the finger if you infringe on their non-legal space. By the way, it is legal to pass between cars when they are stopped but not if they are in motion. However, I have never seen a transit cop stop a motoboy for passing through cars in motion. We are going to spend some time with the motoboy phenomenon as it is directly related to safety in your car.

1.   Stay out of the way of the motoboy. If you fight with one, they are as likely as not to kick off your sideview mirror or attempt to engage you in a verbal battle that may or may not get physical. And of course you never know how many of their friends are behind them. Leave them be—make space for them and be aware at all times about where they are around you.

2.   Do not open your window if a motoboy asks for directions. He needs to ask his one of his compatriots on two wheels. The percentage of bad motoboys is just too high to risk being a helpful citizen.

3.   Motoboys do not generally respect pedestrian walkways (this concept merges into pedestrian safety). In fact, most Brazilian drivers don’t respect pedestrian walkways. But in particular, don’t expect the motoboy to stop. Do not anticipate, especially when you are crossing the street, that they will obey traffic laws. Do not assume they won’t drive their moto on the sidewalk. 

4.   Do not ever, ever, ever put your laptop case on your front passenger seat or on the floor. Put it in the trunk before you leave your secure location. It is so easy for a passing motoboy or other passerby to break the side window and grab it while you are stuck behind the wheel of your vehicle. You might notice a long line of motoboys passing you on heavily trafficked roads like Rebouças.  A few of them are carefully looking in each car to see if there is something easy to get, and perhaps signaling the motoboy behind him to break in.

Other general rules of traffic:

Do not look as good to rob as the car next to you. Purse in trunk, laptop in trunk, no iphone or gps in easy sight.  Don’t be interesting to a criminal. Your car will be less interesting, regardless of make and model, if it seems there is not much in it. Remember that this smash-and-grab is a crime of impulse. Don’t provide that impulse.

A smash-and-grab victim. Put the purse in the trunk.

Carry a wallet in the car that has R$200 in it. If the worst happens and you are held up, you hand that over immediately. Give up your cell phone, ring, watch, whatever they want. We will continue to emphasize that your Rolex or iPhone is not more valuable than your life.

The other day, an incident happened on a street in São Paulo where a woman driver was being held up by an assailant, and another car came to her rescue.  Story here (Portuguese only).  The good Samaritan in the second car pinned the robber against the first car. We do not recommend this. What if that assailant had had a gun as well as a knife? Things could have ended differently. Make your own judgment call.

Some additional driver crime-avoidance tips:

1.   Stop 50 meters before any stoplight that has people hanging around who you don’t like the look of. In general, you should stop a meter behind the car in front so you might have more room to maneuver as necessary.

2.   It is indeed illegal to run a red light at any time of day or night. But if you pull up to a corner that looks particularly shady, you won’t be the only one who rolls that red light. Make your own decision on what feels right and safe. Regardless, you should always slow down/stop before crossing an intersection—do not literally RUN a red light.

3.   Know where you are going before you leave the house. Print out a google map. Even if you have GPS or an iPhone, these may go in and out of service around São Paulo. Do not rely only on electronics. Also, a GPS can draw unwanted attention to you.

4.   If you are involved in a small accident (like someone bumps you from behind), do not get out of your car to investigate until you are in a safe area. Put on your hazards and pull into the nearest gas station, restaurant, anywhere that is well-lit and well-populated. If you should hit and knock down a motoboy, do not get out of your car. Call 190 for the police and wait for their arrival. Motoboys will call their friends. They will not be on your side.

5.   Before getting into or out of your car, look around. See if there are papers stuck into the back wipers before you get in. Do not turn on your car then notice there is a flyer on the back window and then get out to take it off. This is an interesting car grabbing tactic. Before getting out of your car, see if there are people in the street and what exactly they are doing.

6.   If you are getting your kids out of your car, stay aware of who is around you and where your purse is. Let us highly recommend parking in valet parking when traveling alone with your children. You are vulnerable during those moments that you are clicking them into car seats, strollers, arranging diaper bags, etc.

7.   Do not park next to vans in parking lots. You never know who is in it or what they are up to.

A police spokesperson we know recommended that you keep your car windows as darkly tinted as legal to keep bad guys from being able to see inside and take note of what you have with you. However, a neighborhood watch person suggested that this is also dangerous in the case you are taken hostage because no one can see in to recognize you are in trouble. Since there are pros and cons to both, go with what makes you feel more comfortable. 

Note: If you are particularly worried about being kidnapped, it is possible to install a panic button in the trunk of your car that connects with a service that can track you down via GPS. 

Car safety and kids

In general, criminals do not target cars with small kids. It is too much of a hassle. You need to think like they do: they are going for the least amount of risk that something will slow down their crime. 

If you are accosted by an assailant while driving with your kids, hand over whatever they want (see Street Smarts).  If they want your car, put your hands where they can see them. Tell them where the key is and that you are going to get your kids, but the rest is theirs. According to the military police, the last kidnapping of a kid happened three years ago. 

Let us reiterate: the typical São Paulo bad guys do NOT WANT YOUR KIDS. They want your car to go sell it for $500 reais. That is all. Move without panic, take attention off of yourself by saying where the key is, where the documents are, that your valuables are in the trunk…just say you are going to get your kids. Do not stress out the criminal. They could be on drugs and you don’t want them to get panicked and irrational. 

Bulletproof Cars

Brazil is the world leader in bulletproof cars, beating out Colombia and the US. There are more than 70,000 bulletproof cars in circulation, and 70% of those are in São Paulo. All types of cars can be bulletproofed. We even know someone who has bulletproofed a Honda Fit. For some interesting stats on bulletproof cars around Brazil, check here. 

There are different levels of bulletproofing, from the lowest level that can stop not much, to the most popular Level 3 which can handle most handguns (as long as the sharpshooter doesn’t hit six bullets in the exact same place) and up to Level 5, which must be near nuclear-proof. When I asked my salesmen to tell me about which guns/bullets could penetrate my car, he said “Really? You’re going to be able to tell a Glock from a plastic one?” So I took that as a “if it looks like a rocket launcher, you are no longer bullet-proof.” For general handguns, I’m pretty safe.

As we talked about in our last post, there are some issues to consider when it comes to bulletproofing:

1.   Expense. It is very expensive to bulletproof your car. Upwards of R$40,000 (US$16,000) depending on the model of your car. In addition, service intervals are at least twice a year, and possibly more as most cars are not built to handle bulletproofing. Heavier cars (Mitsubishi, Land Rover) handle it better on their chasses than the beautifully engineered European cars. Remember that to bulletproof, your car is literally taken apart piece by piece and a shield installed and then it is put back again. Unskilled laborers working on your German engineered car… think about it.

2.   Attention. This argument came up on one of our posts - bulletproof cars attract attention. If the bad guys think you have something inside that is worth bulletproofing, then you are a target. I would argue that the average criminal is working on a crime of impulse—smash and grab. Bulletproofing makes that criminal’s impulse move along to another car rather than yours. Yes, they can tell you are bulletproofed.

3.   Quality of life/travel. Rear passenger windows do not roll down on a bulletproofed car. It is possible that your sunroof will not work. Front windows go down only halfway. As a policeman said “You are not safe if you roll down the windows or put back the sunroof in a bulletproof car. You got it for a reason. Keep the windows up.” Perhaps you can understand why my kids’ favorite thing to do in the US is travel in grandma’s car with the windows rolled down.

4.   Forgetfulness. What? Yes, that is what I shall say to explain that people forget that they are not safe getting into or out of a bulletproof car. You have to remember that: don’t be chatting on the cell phone when you get out of your bulletproof car. Don’t keep the door open blowing kisses to your kids leaving school. Look around before you get out because the attention you get with a bulletproof car might deter someone from trying to get into your car, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t target you when you get out of it.

5.   Peace of mind. No fear of dark corners and back streets when you are bulletproof. The impulse criminal is no longer your problem if you are in your car. Same with the traffic light stops and the passing motoqueiros.

At a presentation with a military police officer, we had a debate about people with bulletproof cars helping other people they witness being robbed at stoplights or in traffic by throwing on their alarms to scare off the criminals (these external alarms are loud). The captain did not recommend this approach. You do not want to stress out the criminal—it is possible that he will kill that driver believing that it is the police who are behind him. They know that the police will stop to help the victim before going after the perpetrator. Don’t do it. 

Next week we will continue our look at crime-avoidance on the street with taxi and public transportation safety tips.

Gentlemen (and one lady), start your engines! - São Paulo

Largo da Batata - 7:30 am Tuesday morning

This photo shows a moment of my morning commute to the kids' school. My husband is normally the taker-of-kids (no yellow bus here as you'll recall from an earlier post) but since breaking his arm by crashing into a concrete wall playing soccer (looooonnnnggg story), I am the driver.  I do not love the morning commute. Fortunately 7:30 am is earlier than most people go to work--most people start their jobs at 9 or 9:30 am (before you make any wise cracks about lazy Brazilians, realize they stay until 7:30 or 8 pm). Here I am in the Largo da Batata - which translates roughly as Potato Square - so named from its history as a gathering spot for potato sellers.

The motorcycle line-up is about the same at every stoplight. A line of motorcycles jostles for space as close as they can get to the pedestrian walkway. They seem to enjoy threatening the people running for their lives (motoboys, or motorcycle delivery guys, are not known to honor the walkway). Motoboys are all pretty much dressed this way in dark clothes, in spite of recent attempts to jazz up their required clothing to make them more visible. You can see one of the motoboys is checking out the lady on her moped second from left. There are not many women on motorcycles (except as garoupas, see earlier post) and those you see are generally on smaller moped.

By law motorcycles are allowed to pass in the space between cars when they are stopped. I actually reached this light before all of the others did, but they all zoomed up between me and the next car and spread out on the front line. They get really annoyed if you don't leave space between your car and the next one so that they can squeeze through. Several friends have had their side view mirrors kicked off when there wasn't enough space. One fat motoboy ripped off the side view mirror of my husband's Volvo when the motoboy miscalculated the space his rather large self would need to get through. It was unintentional but the result was the same. A Van Gogh Volvo. 

Some of you know my favorite motoboy story. I have a love/hate relationship with motoboys, and a semi-real obsession with their crazy lifestyle. One day as I was heading down this same road, without the kids, a line of motoboys was passing on my right and one of them hit the side view mirror and bent it backwards. Annoying but not broken. The next motoboy in the line-up pulled up next to me (we were at this point driving around 20 miles per hour), paused, looked in the passenger window and pointed to the mirror then himself. I nodded at him and the motoboy proceeded to bend my mirror back into place while driving with one hand. At the next stoplight he was stopped in front of me, and he flipped up his face shield and smiled and winked at me when I gave him the thumbs-up. A favorite São Paulo moment.

Motoboys are not supposed to pass in between lanes when cars are moving. This has stopped no motoboy ever. It is incredibly dangerous.  Two to three motoboys die per day on the streets of São Paulo--generally because they drive fast and take chances. I have twice almost knocked motoboys down as I make a left turn--even when signaling your turn, these guys will try to pass you. And if you ever do knock one down, you're going to want to seek police help quickly. Where one motoboy goes down, others will come to circle around like flies. They can apparently become quite aggressive to the car driver, even if it was not the driver's fault. Hasn't happened to me. Only smiles and winks so far...