Tying up loose ends - São Paulo

Ituano celebrating. Credit: www.gazetaesportiva.net

So yesterday I watched Ituano Futebol Club defeat the storied football team Santos in the final of the state championships. Yes, I realize that I don't care about football but I cannot resist a David and Goliath match-up. Santos is the team of Pele and Neymar; Ituano is the team of Esquerdinha (little lefty) and Cabeça (head). Ituano is having one of those "Cinderella story" years that you know would seriously animate any American commentators. 

The game ended in penalties which is my least favorite way to end a match. I know it has to be that way because the players are literally passing out from fatigue and triple overtime just does not work. But I hate it because it usually makes one hero (a goalie) and one villain (the last guy to miss the penalty shot). It is where the "ultimate team sport" falls apart as a team sport. 

In any case, all this Ituano stuff reminded me that I have not chosen my new team yet. If you remember a certain blog post from February (link here), I had lost my favorite team to well, general incompetence (on their part) and I was going to audition some new teams. It was really fun to get a list of Series B, C, D and E teams because it was only then that I realized exactly how many teams there are here in Brazil. According to one source, there are more than 10,000 football teams in Brazil. Huh? Maybe.

I am running out of time to audition. It would be easy to choose Ituano (which had been suggested) now that it is at its pinnacle. I liked the idea of Juventus here in São Paulo except I might have to see a game because they are so close by. Penapolense, suggested by our personal trainer, seemed a good fit except that I cannot pronounce its name. Also 4 de Julho de Piri Piri plays at the same stadium as my vanquished Comercial de Piaui. I could have changed to Comercial de Ribeirão Preto given BH is from there.

So what is a girl to do? Diego Forlan has left the country and the time difference to Japan is just a bit much for me to watch those games. So cheering on a purely aesthetic basis is out as well. Therefore, I would like to announce the following to tie up this loose end as I make my exit from Brazil.

Comercial de Piaui, nunca vou te abandonar. I am never going to abandon Comercial.  In the end, it meets all my criteria (blue shirts, far away so I don't have to see a game, fifth division, doesn't compete with Palmeiras) plus one. They're not even playing!! I don't ever have to see a game! Well, just kidding. Probably they'll figure their way out of the money abyss (no, I am not buying the team) and will be back.

I love it when resolution makes me feel so good.

Eating fire - São Paulo

Eat Fire!!! Image credit: Jovempan

As many of you know, the BH (Brazilian husband) is from Ribeirão Preto, a city about three hours northwest of São Paulo, in the agricultural interior of the state. We get there for a visit about every three months, a little less in the hot months...temperatures there can reach 100 degrees Fahrenheit easily in January.  I melt at around 95.

Next week we may go for a visit because our niece turns one and there will be a party.  And then BH said to me "why don't we see if there are tickets for 'Come-Fogo' (Eat-Fire) on Sunday?" And I said....huh?  For two reasons. One, I've never heard of that team and Two, somehow my husband is mistaking me for someone who likes football.

Turns out "Come-Fogo" or "Eat Fire" is the name of a classico. A classico is a grudge match like Corinthians-São Paulo here or Flamengo-Vasco in Rio.  Oh, okay, I will help the Americans: like Ohio State-Michigan. Or Yale-Harvard. Or Boston-New York.  Sorry, I cannot help Europeans, I have no idea the rivalries. 

In this case, the classico is Comercial de Ribeirão Preto (not to be confused with my team Comercial de Piauí)  vs Botofogo: Come - Fogo.  

There are a number of these nicknamed rivalries that make me laugh. There is of course Fla-Flu in Rio which is Flamengo vs Fluminense, and Bota-Ferro which is Botafogo (again from Rib Preto) versus Ferroviária de Araraquara (never heard of a team named for a railroad, but let me think on that...Maria Fumaça? No). And Choque-Rei which is the game between Palmeiras and São Paulo.

Things start getting worse when you head out of the "civilized" territories. In Sergipe, the "Derby Sertanejo" is between Nossa Senhora das Dores (Our Lady of Pain) and Nossa Senhora da Glória (Our Lady of Glory) and I can tell you I'm on the side of glory.  In João Pessoa, there is "Botauto", a tongue-twister of a rivalry between Auto Esporte (??? football????) and Botafogo. Yes ANOTHER Botafogo. Then there's "Mare-Moto" in Maranhão between Moto Clube (seriously now, folks, it's football) and Maranhão AC.  My favorite is probably "Pa-Tu" in Belem which is between Paysandu (one of the contenders for my new Brazilian team) and Tuna Lusa. I translate Tuna Lusa as a Portuguese tuna fish. That's got to be good. And Pa-Tu sounds like duck so I'm pretty in favor of that too.

 Bring on the dinner...I mean football!

Now auditioning - São Paulo

I just lost my football team here. Comercial de Piauí is not playing in 2014 because they are bankrupt and owe lots of money to the Brazilian Football Federation, and also because none of the other local teams are supporting them. And their president doesn't show up to meetings, even to save his own hide. It is a sad end (or perhaps temporary stop) to a team founded in 1945. You can read about it here.

Comercial is (was?) a fourth division team. Yes, there are five divisions in Brazilian football, and every year some teams move up and some teams move down. That is the case of Palmeiras, BH's favorite team which spent a year in the second division before moving back up to the first division, or Serie A. If this all makes your eyes cross, you are not alone. 

So, how did I get to be a Comercial fan? As you all know, I am not much of a football fan. I prefer Palmeiras winning because BH gets crabby if they are losing. I still get annoyed by things like theatrical diving to the ground, lack of instant replay and no time-outs for pee breaks. But the main thing that makes me nuts is the fighting. I don't even mean the beating of the opponents (literally, with punches and kicks). I mean the non-stop..."oooh, Corinthians? That team is terrible." and on and on the fans go forever and ever. Four of the five teams here in São Paulo are non-stop ****-slinging at each other. The games when they play each other are called "classicos" or classics, which translates roughly as 'if you value your life, stay at home." The fifth team is essentially the Chicago Cubs of football and no one can get bothered by them.

I decided a couple of years ago that I was not going to have a team. I am friendly to Palmeiras (oh, alright, I have a fan card but only because BH got it for me) but they are not really at the level of "minha vida é voce" (my life is you) like is written on the card. Please, people! Get a grip! Ugh, and don't get me started on Corinthians with their bumper stickers reading "I am loyal until I'm dead." 

But I was hassled all the time to pick a team. Then a friend said, well, why don't you cheer for a small team? And I started looking around. BH is from Ribeirão Preto and I saw there was a team there called "Comercial" so I said to this friend that I was going to cheer for Comercial.

His response was: which  one? I believe there are actually three Comercial teams. Once he mentioned that there was Comercial de Piaui, I took a look. They play at a field called Deusdeth which can fit 4,000 people (one-tenth of the population of Campo Maior, the team's city). I wouldn't ever have to go to a game (it's 2700 km/1600 miles away) and the team shirts are not available online. Perfect. And I became a fan of Comercial de Piaui.

That's just close enough. São Paulo to Piaui

Until they dropped out. Now I can't be without a team so this week I am auditioning new teams to be mine. I have already polled friends on my personal facebook page and I already have a few contenders, though not in the right division. Let me tell you the prerequisites for the auditioning team:

1. The team may NOT be one of the big teams of Brazil. No Flamengo, Flu (hahahaha!), Gremio, Inter, Corinthians, Athletico of any kind, etc. 
2. I prefer blue.
3. I prefer teams where the fans are not thugs. If they have killed any referees or other players, they are not my team.
4. I prefer a team that is third or fourth or fifth division. So as not to run afoul of Palmeiras, as I live in a porco household. Definitely NOT a first division team. Second is acceptable. Preferably bottom of second.
5. I prefer a team that is not within driving distance. I don't actually want to have to go to a game. Ditto on not wanting any that might be televised.
6. No teams with Adriano or Ronaldinho on it.
7. I prefer cool mascots like lions (Avai) or wolves (Paysandu).  No dopey toucans. Even Comercial's goat was pushing it.

There, I think I've covered it. If you have any suggestions, I am all ears. I'll probably need to commit myself to a team in about a week so as to acquire the requisite level of knowledge about its players by the end of Carnaval.

Let the auditions begin...teams receiving votes so far are Avai and Paysandu. Yeah, look them up. Aloha!