Happy songs and lawsuits - São Paulo

Today was the Assembly of one of my sons at his IB (English-language) school. I won't bore you with the stories of how wonderfully and enthusiastically tone-deaf he is, but rather point out a superior cultural moment. It all has to do with a little song called Happy Birthday. 

At the end of Assembly, to which parents are invited, they call forward all children who have a birthday that week. This is Infant School only -- with kindergarten, first and second graders in attendance. With around 120 kids there, there is always someone with a birthday. They ask each child (this time there were two--Matheus and Mathias) how old he/she is, and then we sing happy birthday.

We start with the American version:

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear whoever,
Happy Birthday to you.

I never realized just how boring this is, until that song is swiftly followed by the Brazilian version. Total party time. Volume goes up, clapping, "heys!" -- it is possibly the happiest, most fun song in the whole world. Okay, not counting Dança Kuduro. Kidding, folks.

Here are the lyrics:

Parabéns pra voce       (Congratulations to you
Nesta data querida       on this special day
Muitas felicidades         Much happiness
Muitos anos de vida      Long life)

that is the basic short version. You clap for each word. Then you yell "hey" at the end of each line. Parabens pra voce -HEY! Check the video below.

At birthday parties, it goes on (and not with smelling like a monkey). Here is the medium version:

"E pra Matheus tudo ou nada? é tudo!!

Como que é?

é pique, é pique
é hora, hora, hora
Ra-Ti-Boom!
Ma-the-us, Ma-the-us!"

And the longer version involves marriage or something. Long version as sung by a classroom (not my kids): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcqyAYzU-u4

Sorry I cannot translate. I am out of my league. It is so loud and so fun. Just sit and envy, Americans.

Now, when I started looking around for videos to put in this blog post, I discovered something really wacky. The Happy Birthday song is not in the public domain. In fact, someone owns the right to that song and will charge $10-$25,000 for the rights to use it in a movie or show. Whaaaaat?  True story. Look here (men will want to read to the end where there is a gratuitous photo of Hooters girls--or just scroll down, it's too many words for y'all, anyway).  Two sisters wrote the original, published it and then the rights were sold on and on, now owned by Warner. 

This is why some restaurants change the lyrics so when they bring out your cake with all the servers, they do not have to pay royalties. And some movies and shows will do the same to avoid paying out. Now a filmmaker in NY is suing Warner for $50 million to have it repay all royalties from what she claims is a public domain song. This article is from June, and I was unable to find any information on the results of the lawsuit, if known yet. If the lawsuit is lost, the US will wait until 2030 to have public domain rights to the song.

But wait, it's not in the public domain here in Brazil either! The song was imported from the US and then a national competition in 1942 (judged by the illustrious Academia Brasileira de Letras) came up with the (short) version seen above (more or less- "pra" has come to be used instead of "a"). According to copyright laws here, the song will enter the public domain in 2017. Much better than 2030.

Here is my advice, USA, forget the US version. Just sing the Brazilian version and have a really good time. Ra-ti-Boom! Brazil! Brazil! Brazil!

Return this--if you can - Sao Paulo

One of my least favorite things to do in Brazil is to return something that I have bought or been given. The process is so archaic and so customer-unfriendly, you cannot believe it. Today I had smoke coming out of my ears at the plumbing supply shop--I'm guessing you could see the fumes in Miami.

Here's how the return policy works in most cases. You buy something, in this case a faucet part. You are so proud because your Portuguese has worked for a technical piece of equipment. Chuffed, you swan home in a haze of ego puffery.

You pull apart the faucet, because you are American and self-sufficient. You once were a do-it-yourselfer hanging out at Home Depot. Then you realize that the US$25 part does not work in the faucet, in spite of the authorized dealer telling you it will.  In spite of the manual saying it will. It will not.

Being American and hopeful means that you will go back to that same shop later that day. With the unopened product. And they will say to you: sorry, no money back. Not even store credit--you can choose something of same value that very day only. Yet I find myself not in need of any other plumbing part. 

According to consumer rights' laws here, there are two ways to get your money back. One, if you have bought something on-line, you have seven days to return for a refund. I assume this is because the actuality might be different from the photo on line. Two, in a commercial establishment, you may return an item for your money back in the case of defect or if the item is "inappropriate for consumption". Then you have 30-90 days (the difference being non-durable and durable items). In practice you will have a tough time proving "inappropriate for consumption" and you cannot return something just because you've decided you didn't like it, or you already have one.

Most stores allow a return within 30 days only. When you return something, you do not get your cash back. Or credit on your card. No, you have to choose something else in that store and right away. If the value is lower, they do not give you the difference. More likely is you find something more expensive and you have to pay the difference.

Now what happens when your twin boys get duplicated birthday presents? You run all over São Paulo trading them in at the various stores before the 30 day limit expires. Each time you don't get money or a charge back on your card--only a credit that you must use immediately. Now. Quick--the Ironman costume or the Hot Wheels tower?  Never mind that they don't play with either--I've got to trade it in! I'm in a panic!

A Target or Nordstrom's would eat these return policies for lunch. My father once returned a pair of shoes to Orvis after 15 years asking if they could re-sole them and they just sent him a new pair. My father is an Orvis man for life.

I would have a difficult time saying the same about my local stores.

Food for the Road - São Paulo

Surprisingly (at least to me), the sale of street food from food trucks was prohibited in São Paulo until just last week. The only exception to the rule were hot dog vendors and the pastel vendors at the local farmers' markets. And even for those two groups,  there hadn't been a new license emitted since 2007. In 2010, the calabresa (sausage) vendors at stadiums were shut down. Of course, that little thing called the law stopped no churrasquinho de gato (see post) ever.

For years, chefs have been going around the rules by selling "food from the window". The closest real translation would be a take-out window. But recently a street food fair in Vila Madalena, a hippie/fun neighborhood in the city, re-started the interest of both chefs and consumers in having legal street food of a larger variety--churros, yakisoba, acarajé (a yummy dried shrimp treat from the northeast), tapioca, hamburger, barbecue (and not just of cats). 

As of last week, food trucks were ready and legal to hit the streets again. Everyone from the restaurant Oba to Alex Atala (he of D.O.M. fame) will be on board, so to speak. All the food vendors will be licensed through the sub-mayoralities depending on neighborhood. Ah, but no alcoholic beverages you baddies. 

Two events, one happening right now, and one this Saturday at the Jardim Botanico mark the return of the chefs in the street. Welcome back!
 

Safe in São Paulo - Post 6 - Security at Home

In our continuing Monday series about security and safety in São Paulo, Brazil in My Eyes and Born Again Brazilian take a look at safety in your home.

Safety in your home is something that you’ve probably been aware of for a long time. Some of us grew up in small towns where we never locked the front door and left the car keys in the car parked in front of the house. Some of us grew up in bigger towns and cities that require more precautions. Most of what we are talking about here is no different than the precautions you would take in any big town or city in the world. As we should emphasize, São Paulo is the second least violent state capital in Brazil. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. 

House vs. Apartment

Probably the most common question we get about living in Brazil is whether it is safer to live in an apartment or in a house. Although this answer will make the more precise among us a bit upset, we’re going to answer this with “it depends.” It depends on many things: the neighborhood security in general, your safety precautions, and the precautions of your neighbors.

An apartment building provides 24-hour security. A guard or two at the gate and garage, a security process to get into or out of the building as a visitor, a feeling that as one of only one apartment of many, why would you be targeted?  And that is all true. Some buildings are stricter on security than others: making cars entering roll down tinted windows so they can make sure it is you in the car, having garage remotes that are harder to clone, checking IDs of all who enter and leave. When finding a place to live, make sure you ask about security procedures.

A house does not have 24–hour third party security. That security person is actually you. On the other hand, you do not have to worry about who your neighbor has just buzzed into the building, or who they’ve rented their apartment to, or if they’ve handed over their garage remote to a friend. The security system is yours. There are many options for protecting your home: electric fences, barbed wire rolls, video cameras, etc. Do what you feel is appropriate in your neighborhood—you don’t want to stand out as Fort Knox so the bad guys might wonder what is so worth protecting in your house, nor do you want to be the easiest to break into. 

The best security in house or apartment is to know your neighbor. It is not very common in Brazil to have Neighborhood Watch associations as in the US, but take the time to know who has the apartment next to you or the house across the street. They may end up being your savior one day if they notice someone different coming out of your house or apartment carrying two laptops, an ipad and a large TV. Go introduce yourself to your neighbor. 

In a house, your biggest vulnerability is at the moment of entering and leaving. Your house or garage door is open, you may be backing out; it is very easy for a bad guy to take advantage of that moment. If you have an option for a street security guard, you will want to take it. The only downside of this is that the more people who know your routine, the more likely that someone will tell a bad guy. 

In our leafy neighborhood we pay a company (Aster in this case) for the “ronda” service. As we are approaching home, or leaving, we call the number, and they send a car to follow us to the garage, or to watch as we leave the garage. It is not foolproof—these guards are not armed. But in a case of an impulse robbery, they are one more deterrent.

If you are in a house, try to park your cars so you do not have to back out. If you leave facing out to the street, you have a better visibility for what is going on outside. 

Also, if you are near a construction site (someone building a new house), be aware that the site may not have great security. Someone may be able to get into the site, and jump a wall to your property. Secure the perimeter, as a friend jokingly says.

Security procedures inside your home

Training household employees:

You must go through security procedures with your staff. At least once a year, but more often is better. Such as: calling the security company when entering or leaving the house. If someone calls asking for you, do not answer “she is not home” but rather “she cannot take the call at this time.”  Work out passwords with them as well.

All workers in your house should provide their document (RG) and you should make a copy of it. You should also know where your staff lives. All empregadas and babas (long-term employees) should have their "antecedencias" checked--basically their criminal records. You need to report anything that happens with your help so it does not happen to someone else.

Be careful in handing out keys to staff. If it is possible to buzz them in and out on arrival that may be the best. This is not to suggest that the individual may be a criminal, but in the case that the keys are stolen from them. My maid was held up at a bus stop two years ago and she had our keys in her purse. We changed all locks by the end of the day as a “just in case.”

Things you may want to know as you are hiring

The very best way to get household help in Brazil is to get a referral from someone who has hired that individual in the past. While some friend-of-friend referrals (like your empregada says that her friend’s sister is available) may work out, they are not recommended. If even your maid does not know the person very well, you are taking a risk.
Be aware that any and all workers in your home (including the water or electric readers, pedreiros, maids, etc) will have a chance to look around and see what you have of value. Make sure every worker in your home has the credential of the company (Eletropaulo, NET, etc) and then don’t let them alone. My in-laws were robbed by the TVA cable guys when they left them alone in the living room (yes, my father-in-law had left his wallet there which was not the best idea). 

Other optional security systems

Some security system companies can provide you with panic buttons or remotes that could help in some situations. The truth of it is that if you are followed into your house by a bad guy, you do not want to risk trying to get to a panic button. You should hand over whatever they want. If you are followed by the bad guy, and he or they seem to know where the valuables are, you will want to mentally keep a note of this. They may have been tipped off by one of the workers in your house.

If you want to get all Panic Room (we don’t think this is necessary), a military police man recommended to us that one room be lockable. So that if the bad guys decide to lock you in one room so they can toss the apartment, you have a hidden cell phone in that room so you can call the police. We think this is overdoing it, but we are mentioning it anyway.

Summary

These are some basic ideas to improving your home or apartment security pretty much wherever you are going to live in the world.  Next week we’ll share some of the statistics we have about safety in São Paulo, how the emergency number 190 works, and even tell you about how a tattoo can tell you a lot about a person.

Coffee for One - São Paulo

This wonderful little tray was presented to me when I asked for coffee after a delicious meal at a place that serves "mineira" (from the state of Minas Gerais) food. It is home cooking at its best, and so is this coffee. Pour the appropriate amount of coffee from the jar into the"sock", pour hot water through it and bingo, fresh-brewed coffee. Add sugar at will. I don't, but in this cute set-up, it was tempting! 

Happy Sunday!

Yipes (Rough Justice) - São Paulo

Some of you may remember a post I wrote about the death cocktail that was served to two killers of a 5-year-old child. If not, here it is. At that point in the story, two of the other accomplices (including the actual "author" of the shot) were fugitive, having been allowed out of prison on Mother's Day, a common "amnesty" day when you get to leave for the day as long as you promise to come back. You all know my feelings on that wackiness.

Two bodies found in July have now been identified as these two fugitive accomplices. And a letter has turned up that seems to indicate that the PCC (the huge criminal gang active in São Paulo) ordered the deaths of all four. Why? The PCC does not allow its members to kill kids. And if you happen to be along for the ride when one of the group kills one, well, it's bye-bye-bye.

The family of the boy left Brazil forever shortly after the crime, and of course this rough justice will be of little comfort to them. Or anyone else left where they used to live; the Bolivian family was assaulted four times in the six months they lived in São Mateus, a neighborhood here in São Paulo.

Again, a story it is hard to be happy about. And one now closed in this blog at least.

Full story here: http://www1.folha.uol.com.br/cotidiano/2013/09/1341343-faccao-e-suspeita-de-mandar-matar-assassinos-de-menino-boliviano.shtml

Cutthroat competitions and kites - São Paulo

Pretty, and here it can be deadly

This morning I had been planning a post on a completely different subject, but a tiny feathered messenger sent me another topic. Diverted from (probably) messing up "real" news like the Mensalão corruption case (yep, I was going to risk it--saved by the bird!), I instead found myself in a life or death struggle. Not my struggle, mind you. But one that must happen frequently here.

When I opened the kitchen door so I could feed the dogs, a fluttering and flapping called my attention.  A red-brown bird was hanging from one wing, tangled in a cord that reached from a tree on my neighbor's property to a tree on my side.  I have no idea how long it had been there but it was exhausted.  It was hanging less than four inches from my electric security fence where it would surely be fried to death.

I immediately turned off the power to the electric fence and got a ladder. When I went up near the bird to try to grab and quiet it, it bit me hard on the finger. I can't blame it--I'd do the same. I got a cloth, and my husband a broom with which to catch and pull down the string so I could try to untangle the bird. Finally the string broke but the bird fell to the neighbor's yard. Delicately I pulled it up to untangle the wing, and finally, freed, it flapped off weakly.

The string was not an ordinary string. It was kite string. Strong kite string made of nylon, not the cotton type you find in the US. Three years ago a huge eagle was stuck in kite string at the top of a 40 foot pine tree down the street. It would flap and pull, then fall, hanging upside down. Fortunately, someone called the firemen and a few hours later the eagle was free. 

It is hard for any American to believe but kites here are killers. Not only of birds who get tangled and not every one has a good samaritan to rescue them. They are killers of children, of motorcyclists, and others who may get near. Several cities in Brazil have now banned kite flying altogether, which seems like something out of a children's movie villain story. No kite-flying! No fun!

Kite string varieties

The issue is that kite-flying here is not always a beachside pleasure of butterfly kites and happy dragons. No, this is a cutthroat sport called "taio" -- roughly translated to kite-dueling*. Unfortunately, I mean literally "cutthroat", but that comes later. Kids and adults coat kite strings with something called "cerol" which is a mixture of cut glass with glue. Why? So they can battle to cut each other 's kites out of the sky.  Some attach even pieces of metal.

A "lucky" motorcyclist. Do NOT google images for this. You will regret it.

Which is why motorcyclists die. One of the most common places to fly kites is along the highways here. Empty space, nice breezes. And then the kite falls to the level of the roadway, the string crosses the street and all of a sudden, you have cut the jugular of an unsuspecting motoboy. This is not an infrequent accident.  In fact it is frequent enough that as of 1998, a state law prohibits the use of "cerol" on kites and the user is subject to fines and criminal charges. In reality, the law hardly stops this situation. There are, as they say, other fish to fry.

And fry they do sometimes. There were 87 accidents with kites and electric wires in this state in 2011: 16 were fatal (source here). That's just in São Paulo. And that doesn't count the financial damages from power outages due to kites. I couldn't find the numbers from São Paulo but in Minas Gerais, our neighbor to the north, there were 500,000 people left without energy during first six months of this year because of kite accidents with electric wires (source here). 

"Corta-pipa" or kite-cutting antennas are now required accessories on all motorcycle delivery bikes. These are small antennas in front of the driver which would cut the line and protect the throat of the motorcyclists. 

And yet, the dueling continues. Now popular is something called a Chilean string which is made from aluminum oxide and ground quartz. Someone forgot to mention that aluminum oxide is a terrific electric conductor. Long-time duelers spend up to R$200 (US$90) per month to accessorize their kites. Ah, sale of this string is illegal and subject to 5 years prison penalty. Yet you find it for sale everywhere on the internet: see here.

Kite-flying in Brazil could make it as part of the Hunger Games. A beautiful pastime turned deadly. Our little bird friend got off lightly.

* Source: http://www.metodista.br/rronline/noticias/cidades/2013/06/linha-cortante-causa-acidentes-nas-ferias